A close shave

I wasn’t concentrating this morning ... well not on what I was actually doing at the time anyway.

Catching sight of myself in the bathroom mirror, I decided that it was time to trim my beard, lest someone mistake me for a matawa - one of the local religious police.

My beard being a little on the long side, the trimmer ground to a halt. I removed the guard and shook out the blades, and then continued to trip. With the guard in one hand and the beard trimmer in the other, the result was startling.

I cut a swathe through my beard on the left side. Horrified I stood for at least a minute just looking at the damage and wondering what to do next. I screwed my eyes up in disbelief.

Thinking symmetry might help, I cut a matching swathe at the other side of my chin. This, of course, did not help. I now looked like a hairy cartoon character that had been run over by lawnmower. Twice.

Aghast, I continued to trim and for the first time ever in my life I have a goatee. And jolly handsome I look too.

I have had my beard since August 4th 1989. Today I almost lost it. It would have been a sad day. The earth might have come to an end.